Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
