I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
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