it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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