mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
