we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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