His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
