I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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