Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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