sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
