On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
