i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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