Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
