batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
