jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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