you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
