I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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