Umm I'm too high to move.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
