why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
