If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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