I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
