YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
