this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
accomplished twins. life is a go
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
