I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
