you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
