If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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