Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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