you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
