Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
