So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
