naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
The ass gains better be worth it
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
