If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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