at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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