Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
