yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
