I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize