can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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