I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
