If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
