well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
