I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
