she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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