An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
