Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
