She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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