I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
