Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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