literally had 100 drinks last night.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
