talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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