What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
