Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
