Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
