I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
