i think my tv is drunk
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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