I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
