the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
