I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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