i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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