He felt like a one man threesome
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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