I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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