My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
