I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize