I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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