quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
