i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize