There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
