just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
