i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
