...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Someone signed my nipple.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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