Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
