dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
